Not Coming Home
by Miss Nikki
Summary: She would miss this time and place. She would miss all her friends, but most of all she would miss him. Slowly she turned to look at him. She smiled, remembering all the times they stood by this very well.
1. Chapter 1

"_and I don't want the world to see me, cuz I don't think that they'd understand. When everything's made to be broken I just want you to know who I am."_

**Not Coming Home**

InuYasha slowly follows Kagome to the well. He has so much on his mind, so much to tell her. Sighing he watched her walk ahead of him. It was so hard to gather all the words and thoughts you've held in for so long. He just never figured he'd need to say the words to get her to stay. He never figured she would go, she would always be there with him. Everything he's come to cherish and love was leaving and he didn't have the guts to tell her to stay.

They reached the well without conversation. Kagome had thought he would say something, anything. All she needed was a sign and she'd turn around and never think of leaving him. But as it appeared it was not to be. He didn't want her there, he didn't even have the decency to say thank you. Subconsciously, she knew that if she wanted to stay she'd have to take a step in that direction also. She couldn't leave it all up to him. But it was hard, she didn't want to feel like she was pushing him. She knew what she wanted but didn't know what he wanted.

She looked down into the empty eternal depths of the well. Sighing to turned to say her final good byes. She would miss this time and place. She would miss all her friends, but most of all she would miss him. Slowly she turned to look at him. She smiled, remembering all the times they stood by this very well. Those times she knew she'd be back but not this time, and that made her saddest.

InuYasha stood there, watching her back. He reached down deep searching, just searching for the courage to say what he should have already said. He'd give anything to make her stay but he knew that it was her choice. He just felt like there was nothing he could say or do that would keep her there. But he wouldn't let her go without telling her how he felt.

Kagome smile and moved to speak when he interrupted her. She felt her stomach fill with butterflies and her heart skip a beat.

InuYasha stood there the words playing in his head like a chant. But he could bring his lips to say them. He watched her love and emotions play across her face but they just wouldn't leave his lips.

'And I'd give up forever to touch you

Cuz I know that you feel me somehow

You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be

And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment

And all I can breathe is your life

Cuz sooner or later it's over

I just don't want to miss you tonight'

His thought's played themselves out in his head. The words where so easy and heart felt but he couldn't force the air it took to speak them out his lungs. He watched as her smile faded and time ticked by. He felt her sigh more then he heard it. Searching through his mind he was able to read the words clearly. They were there but they weren't meant to be spoken.

'And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming

Or the moment of truth in your lies

When everything feels like the movies

Yeah, you'd bleed just to know you're alive'

Tired of waiting she took the steps she need to give him the goodbye she felt was appropriate. She leaned up on the tips of her toes and kissed him softly on the cheek before backing away. She walked back to the well heaving a sigh of regret. The time had come, the goodbyes were said. There was nothing holding her here. Leaning over to look into the well one last time she picked up her bag. She felt cool hands wrap around her legs..

No, he wasn't going to let her go without giving her what was owed. He knelt and hugged her around the knees, he just couldn't let her go. Not just yet.

"Kagome," he breathed out. "I just want you to know who I am, I just want you to know who I am, I just want you to know who I am"


	2. Chapter 2

_"…and I don't want the world to see me, cuz I don't think that they'd understand. When everything's made to be broken I just want you to know who I am."_

Kagome watched InuYasha, she watched him often. The way he ate, napped, walked and the way he'd brood after a battle, whether won or lost. She wanted him to notice her, and on some point she was sure he did, but there was always that nagging feeling, that pull, that he only saw her as the reincarnation of Kikyo. But she wanted to be so much more then that.

She walked beside him when the world seemed to hate him, disregard him. She was always by his side, never leaving him lonely but she felt short changed. She knew that she couldn't go on like this forever, but that didn't stop her from spending the days she had with him. She'd follow him in death if it meant he would never leave her.

It had finally come. The day they'd been waiting for, fighting for. They faced off with Naraku, it would end here, in this field on this day. This was what she wanted, what she was here for, the day she'd dreaded.

The battle was fought, causalities on both sides. She watched her friends fall, but her mind never strayed from him. His welfare and well-being stayed foremost in her mind. He needed to survive even if she didn't.

It was over and she wasn't sure what was expected of her. She watched Miroku smile at the lost of his wind tunnel and cry at the lost of Sango. She watched Kirara nuzzle the limp body of Shippo and Kouga howl in anguish over the bloody form of Ayame. But what held her captivated was InuYasha. He sat huddled next to the form of Kikyo.

The battle over, there was no need for the girl to hold on to life. She'd fought valiantly, and gave up her fragile hold on life, ignoring the pleading of InuYasha. Even though she didn't like it she knew that it would be this way. She knew that he'd be wracked with the pain of losing her twice. And she still had a decision to make.

Five hundred years was a long time, it was forever. But she'd gladly give it up to have him look at her the same what he looked at Kikyo, in life and death.

'And I'd give up forever to touch you

Cuz I know that you feel me somehow

You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be

And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment

And all I can breathe is your life

Cuz sooner or later it's over

I just don't want to miss you tonight"

Tonight she'd stay. She'd make her choice tomorrow. She would decided if she could live without him a different day, she just didn't want to leave tonight. It was over but there were still question looming over head. She refused to miss him tonight, when she could stay here cocooned in his warmth, even if it was for another.

**  
**  
'And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming

Or the moment of truth in your lies

When everything feels like the movies

Yeah, you'd bleed just to know you're alive'

Kagome looked down and watched the blood seep from the wound she'd inflicted. She hadn't done it out of some wish to die but to see if she was still alive. She wiped the blood away, noting that it was replaced fast.

Everything felt so surreal, she'd fallen to sleep with him just a few feet away. Everything had been silent. She'd watched him stare vacantly into the dark forest, the glow of the fire casting undistinguishable shadows on his face. As she woke she watched the world around her fade away, settling as the world she'd been born into. It was as if she'd dreamed the whole thing, as if the years spent traveling in a world far away hadn't happened. It felt as if it was a movie she'd fallen asleep watching.

She found herself fighting everyday to go on living. It was as if she'd come home as without bringing her mind with her. There were days when she wasn't sure she was still alive, until someone spoke to her, or bumped her on the streets. She pulled herself out of bed each morning, falling back into old habits. She'd eat breakfast, go to classes, come home and study but always wondering what he was doing.

Kagome looked down and watched the blood seep from the wound she'd inflicted. She curled up in the corner, and let her memories of a time lost wash over her. Even if she couldn't be with him didn't mean that she was alone. She still had her memories. She hadn't done it out of a wish to die but to see if she were still alive. She remembered the looks InuYasha had bestowed upon her, seeing her but not seeing her. He never did see past her corporal form, he just saw that she looked like the one he'd lost. And as the light faded from her eyes, she saw the golden eyes looking in at her from the window, she let a smile grace her face.

_"…and I don't want the world to see me, cuz I don't think that they'd understand. When everything's made to be broken I just want you to know who I am." _


End file.
